Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #27

(There are always extreme cases and exceptions)
The unreasonable demand for reciprocity is a recipe for marital obscenity.Transcending the need for reciprocity paves the way to l mutual marital generosity

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #26

Listening is a critical ingredient of marriage especially when you initially do not want to listen for whatever reason and then make the choice to want to listen because your spouse wishes to speak.

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #25

(There are always extreme cases and exceptions)
Being Married is not about being right it is about keeping the light  in the relationship visible and desirable to both parties

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #24

Even when you know you are right to do , get something etc and you know your spouse will agree always consult your spouse as that shows respect , equality , significance and validation

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #23

The hebrew word for marriage is נישואין from the word לשאת  ,to carry. One of the many lessons that could be learned from this is that marriage is also carrying the whole person, giving them the space in your life to be themselves ,the parts that are wonderful ,inspiring ,amazing etc and the parts that still need work.

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #22

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

What bothers your partner or spouse should bother you even if it does not bother you but because it bothers them and then they will not feel alone and know that for you its about them too

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #21

You dont always have to prove you are right..rather spend the energy helping make it right and you show  how important the relationship is to you

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #20

Dont get defensive..those who get defensive lash out and generally wreak unintentional havoc..Get expansive and then you will widen your sight to put things in a healthier perspective before responding and quite possibly at times even save your relationship

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #19

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

A marriage is not an opportunity to clone yourself...people without differences lead to numbing uniformity that deadens marriages that started off wonderfully

Get positively excited about the differences between you, learn about them , see the great in them ,expand your comfort zone to include them..they will keep you alive...invite new horizons  etc

Those that try and clone eventually remain alone.....those who take their differences and cherish will build a connection that will never perish

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #18

A daily( or a few times a day) meaningful sms, whatsapp etc goes a long way in showing your loved one that no matter where you are or what you do they are always on your mind. A small gesture..awesome impact

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #17

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

If you are always" too tired "to do what your loved one needs, likes,enjoys etc you will eventually exhaust the relationship.When everything says"give me a break, you dont know the day I have had etc" but you transcend the fatigue and help ,for you know its not only about your day, you give your relationship a priceless boost and strengthen your bond

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #16

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)
Accept the whole person,each person is a multi-faceted world, accepting does not mean agreeing. Accepting the whole person shows that you will hang on as much as you can to the light even when the darkness rears its ugly head, we all fight our inner wars which at time spill over to the outside.Accept the whole person and your marriage will be real , will be whole, which includes all the parts.For true perfection is dealing with our imperfections together, strengthening our love, injecting gratitude,invigorating renewal..etc and that is just perfect.

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #15

You love each other , have what you would call a good life, but wish there was more to the marriage, more excitement,more joy,fulfillment etc. Well this is a huge and expansive issue however we can start with the following:

If you are going to continue to do what you have always done you are going to get what you have always got

Get off the recliners of your comfort zone and understand that G-D blessed your union because it is something beautiful,awesome which kisses the Divine,it and you are worth the effort

You are never too old to reevaluate,reinvigorate..your love is not the excitement , the movement , the fulfillment , the joy ...its due to your Divinely blessed love that you work at , invest in etc your marriage because together you can always take it higher to resplendent levels of quality ,feeling ,spirituality, meaningful joy, fulfillment and growth

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #14

After a Hectic ,tiring day that just simply did not go the way you would have wanted it to etc ,before entering your home a simple deep breath and saying "Thank you G-d for my wonderful family , they are not going to suffer in any way because of my day "..an evening that could have potentially been destructive is turned into an evening of good feeling creating some beautiful memories

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Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #13

We Live in the Reality that is G-D... and G-D is one..yet we are all different facets of G-D many but indeed One.

A possible lesson from this can show us that in a marriage we do not lose who we are, we are still individuals but we are also still one beautiful unit

If we inscribe this in our hearts we give ourselves as individuals the chance to flourish ,our G-D given uniqueness a portal to blossom and grow and at the same time taking the bond of our souls that is our union ,our oneness to magnificent levels of fulfillment , growth and Divine embrace

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #12

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

In many cases how a person is left feeling will determine if the marriage will be left reeling or go on to newer levels of growth ,excitement and fulfillment

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #11

A day should not pass without some honest compliments given and even if you are going through a tough time your effort to compliment your loved one will play a part in showing how much, despite everything ,you value them and the relationship

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #10

No matter whether you agree or feel differently etc or not... always acknowledge ,without judgement ,that which your loved one shares with you, the point they make, what they feel etc.

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #9

Not every issue is an "end of the world" issue

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #8

When you feel you have to "teach your loved one a lesson.." because of some self righteous position understand that you can teach whatever you want but noone will learn what you want to teach and the classroom might just eventually be empty

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #7

When you learn to let go of the petty ego based nonsense ,you dont lose..your relationship wins

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #6

If you always have to be right then there is clearly something wrong

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #5

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

Every face has two eyes,every relationship has two" I's" give people the space they need

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #4

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

Instead of begrudging a loved one for the baggage they bring learn to help them unpack

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #3

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

Too many people are focused on what the other should be doing and forget what they should be doing.Take the conditions out of your love and do what you should be doing,if you are always focused on what the other should be doing you are not giving yourselves much of a chance

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #2

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

One of the most dangerous exercises in a marriage is jumping to conclusions,always give your loved one the respect of clarifying their intention and/or what actually transpired

Staying Married-Suggestions,Ideas ,Insights #1

( for every example there are obviously extreme cases)

Staying Married is not a given but a G-D given privilege which is not a foregone conclusion .Its never enough to want to stay married this has to be demonstrated on a daily basis in the happiest of times and especially in the more challenging times